Twenty Five Years in the Making

Photo Credit - Paul Dex

Sometimes you go through things in life in order to learn a valuable lesson that you may otherwise remain ignorant too. In my early twenties I learned a valuable lesson about love and relationships and how to deal with the loss of something that was once the focal point of my life.

I learned that love is a curious disease that infects indiscriminately often times causing blindness and self loathing and then suddenly slips away, causing withdrawal symptoms seen seldom elsewhere.

Exile is a common experimental treatment subjects employ to deal with this loss of love. Isolation and rehabilitation can be attained most successfully by summoning the sadness, anger and emptiness into positive energy during a period of improvement and many times a search for deeper meaning.

We will all love and we will all lose one way or another, this is one of the only inevitabilities in this torturous game.

I have loved and I have lost, fallen into exile & solitary spaces in which I have decided to pursue the route of self improvement through sacrifice.

Isolation has hardened my heart. My acceptance of mediocrity is waning and desire to excel and make the world my own is shining through. I write this tonight not to dance around an idea, but to state unequivocally, that love, success, excellence and anything else I desire is ripe for the picking.

With my walkabout around the world complete, I am now ready to take the world by storm. Love tore me down, so I could grow stronger. Now I am stronger than ever, confident in my mind, body and my abilities. My time is now.

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Solitary Confinement in Berlin

Photo Credit - Niezwyciezony

June 17th, 2011 Berlin, Germany

I was born to be alone. Independence and freedom are prized above all else in my mind and it is because of this fact that I wander.

I wander in search of something that I cannot find and wanderlust has lead me to various corners of the earth, only to lead me back home, seemingly as lost as ever.

With each voyage I grow and learn and this is something that simultaneously invigorates and frightens me. It seems that I am scared to know just what I am truly capable of and this instead of finding out, I run.

Tonight I am in Berlin. I feel old, but not wise. I am realizing that this game is no longer mine to play, I have served my time.

I am much too strong for my own good, shunning relationships aside, foregoing social opportunities in order to be different when in fact, I am not.

My heart longs to pound with the excitement of a new love, my brain yearns for the in depth conversation of an intelligent acquaintance who understands.

I find myself alone tonight, in my own prisons block of solitary confinement, limited by the walls I put up around myself and knowing that my time on this earth is not promised, praying that I live the life that is meant for me before I die.

Tomorrow I leave for Prague, my search continues and what I find is up to only me.

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Turning Pages & Moving forward

Please excuse my grammar everyone, I am doing what I call "freestyle blogging" tonight. After writing and editing all day as a free lancer, I'd rather just speak what's on my mind and not spend a great deal of time editing tonight.

After all, today is somewhat of a turning point and it will be just ten days before I depart on my next journey. In that light, I felt it nessesary to speak my mind on a topic that comes with difficulty to many of us. I've spoken recently about why we travel, the constant search for moments, the urge to learn of foreign lands, but I have not discussed yet the complicated subject of leaving life at home behind.

Photo Credit- The Aslier

Leaving Life for the Road

I would be lying to say that I can simply hop on to a plane emotionless and leave behind the life I have built here in Scottsdale. I have been here for nearly a year after all, and it has served as a transitionary period of my life. I feel that my previous traveles showed me so much about the life I desired and taught me the steps I must take to achieve this lifestyle.

But enough about me. What I am trying to say tonight, or rather this morning as I look at my watch, is that at certain points, it is necessary to turn the page and begin writing the next chapter of your life's tale. This is a time that can be tremendously emotional and difficult leaving friends, family, pets and the entire life you have known behind for something unknown. Fortunately you need only take part in this act once to learn the proper way to harness these emotions.

How to Leave Home Smiling

The first time I left home was incredibly difficult. My mom and my other best friend Mizer drove me to the airport to send me off on the journey, a tearful and difficult process. However what I noticed the most was upon parting ways, passing through security and awaiting take off, all of the sadness, anxiety and stress gave way to something stronger. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, anticipation of the unknown lit the fire within.

This feeling of standing in front of a departure gate with nothing but a backpack and a dream, is what keeps me moving. Though the good byes are unquestionably always difficult, what awaits is worth the fleeting sadness and as that 747 rushes forward and pulls back, I can not help but feel the corners of my mouth creep upward into a knowing grin. Here we go again...

Living Bueno Part two is upon us.

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Embracing Humility to Achieve Greatness

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Photo Credit- Jenny Downing

It is one of those nights. A glass of red and a long week have brought upon the inevitable deep pondering that comes with the weekly reset.

While it is something that you enjoy and live for, you are well aware the moment, the feeling and the brief sense of enlightenment is as fleeting as the changing colors of a winter sunset. While finding intense beauty in the moment, we know it cannot last.

So this is the stage for tonight. The solution to my madness and yet also the muse for a new problem are present. The thing that seems most clear on nights like these is that growth is slow and reality is the 400 pound tatted up bouncer that separates one from their dreams.

As young men we are told that we are idealistic, naive to the real world. Yet we can't seem to retain a strand of humility. While in retrospect we may look back and laugh out our awful and short sighted arrogance, we are well aware of the necessary evil that this pompous prick must play out.

The raw and uninhibited truth is that our lack or normalcy in youth is what can create a life of prosperity and perceived normalcy in our latter years.

I don't know. Maybe I've had too much wine and just like these big words.

Maybe the truth is that a young mans arrogance must be shed and humility is the necessary evil that drives the change and lights the fire inside said behind.

Either way it seems a growth, a maturation and a changing of the guard must occur and it is happening right now.

Before it was too soon. Idealism and intelligence can drive you into bankruptcy and irrelevance.

Fortunately combined with learned discipline, unstoppable drive and most importantly charisma and savvy, one can really turn shit around.

This is me now. I am watching it happen and unfold in slow motion like a car wreck of positive thoughts and learned lessons driving change to new levels.

My best is yet to come, it always has been, but now I can see it exuding out of my fucking eyeballs. A newfound relentlessness matched with what has always lied within.

A new week begins. A new me is found.

Finding and Forcibly Violating your Motivation within

A shot from my trip to Lima, Peru

Catchy title huh?

I started writing this article in general broad terms that everyone could relate too and then decided, screw everyone else, I'm going to cover the method I like to use myself, sorry...

Motivation for myself and many of us can be hard to come by and once found can be fleeting. I personally have an infactuous personality and ADD, so while I can pour my heart into something for a day or two, sticking with things for more than a week is one hell of a challenge for me.

But enough about my short comings, what I want to explain today is a method I've come up with in the past few days that has helped me increase my focus and efficiency tenfold. What's even better is it is a method which is easily applicable for anyone who suffers with losing motivation and focus.

It all starts when you wake up

If you are like me, the first few hours of your day are usually wasted in a cloudy unproductive state. I'm not a morning person and never have been. Simply waking up and being able to perform simple tasks in the first hour I am awake is a challenge. I've found that by curing this inefficiency in the morning, the rest of the day falls into place mush easier and productivity is increased exponentially.

Developing a Routine

I stumbled upon this new routine by accident. I was flipping through My old memory card on my digital camera and came across pictures of my 3 months trip through South America. I remembered how much of a routine and rhythm I had gotten into while living in Buenos Aires.

Every Morning I would wake up, drink a protein shake and walk to the gym for a workout. I would then walk home, make the same breakfast of eggs and yogurt. I'd then find a nice cafe to write and drink coffee before heading home for my lunch consisting of a beef patty and vegetables, which was the same every day as well. To make a long story short the only variable of my day that ever arose was where I was going out too on the weekends and in the afternoons. Everything else was planned precisly with the exception of Sundays where I would wander and try to get lost in the city, before finding my way home.

I thought then about how erratic my schedule has been since coming back home and how I have no sense of a routine. I've always been praised for my spontaneity and willingness to not conform to the usual lifestyle, however it has become clear that a sense of discipline and a consistant routine is the most effective way for me to flourish. This led me to analyzing how to get some discipline back into my lifestyle and create a routine that is effective in focusing my attention.

The Solution

When I wake up in the morning I've implemented a routine that  gets my mind on track. First off I get up and throw on a pot of coffee. Then I throw this song on while it brews, which puts me in a good mood and the right mind state.

Then I go through the slide show on my camera of my Buenos Aires trip and remember the good times while providing myself with motivation to get back there soon.

Then it's off the the gym for 30 minutes of cardio with no music, where I just let the positive images and thoughts run through my mind, along with the caffeine in my system.

After that I come home, shower, get dressed up and start writing what I'm thinking. One full page of whatever is on my mind. I'm then ready to go and have found myself to be remarkably more productive.

This is what works for me. I suggest that if you share similar struggles that you try and implement something similar. Anyways, there is my page for the day, now time for work!